| keeping last hopes up |
today tastes like a good day.
i woke up. breathing in deeply my smell from a pillow. i looked over and saw lizz sleeping beside me and random thoughts of people came pouring into my head. i had one of the most violent nightmares in a long time two night ago. i dont want to go into it at the moment. i thought about a man. i thought about the way this man can make me feel absolutely wonderful. i thought about how he can crush me and laugh at my fall. i wondered if he thinks of me as his rag doll. i wondered if he dreams of my scent faintly covering his world. i thought about a woman. i thought about the way this woman can pour her heart out to me and secretly know that i will never tell a soul. i thought about how she weaves her short life into a web of loneliness that i could never completely understand. i wondered if i am just her diary. i wondered if she dreams of a better place...her packing me up as her best friend to find a better life. i just want to be loved again. doesnt anyone grasp this? loved. blunt..well, almost. these days i just sit around. i am scared to try anyone else. i am hopeful there is someone else i am hopeful |