| out and in |
im scared again. im scared youre losing interest. im scared that if i do not make a move now, i might lose the only chance i will ever have with you. please tell me some detail of how you feel. please tell me some detail if you want me. please just tell me you want me. tell me this ignorance towards me is all just a figment of my imagination. want me. just like it says, want me. want to wake up with me sleeping beside you. want to kiss me randomly. want to watch me dance in the rain. want to be with me. want me -------- i have been sitting around my house in boxers and an oversized shirt all day today. just doodling and thinking of how wonderful it would be to hear someone speak softly to me again. its going to be everything i can do to get away from here. lizz and i are going to get an apartment pretty soon. with in the next year. i'll be done with school sooner than we thought. we are both getting jobs and making more and more money. i heard of a nice area of atlanta where the apartments dont cost too much. if we both got standard jobs and didnt waste cash, we could easily live there. i have an idea. i'm always having ideas. lizz and i have been thinking about different ways we would want to decorate the place. we both agreed that there is going to be a running 1970s porn theme with random old toys and things all over. my room. we are going to paint it mellow colors. light greens, yellows, blues and purples. i am going to paint a sky scene on my ceiling. then have all of my buddhas around. i am going to keep my little stone fountain collection going for awhile in there. i am going to try to keep fresh cut daisies in there. i also want the room with will get the most light in the mornings. with big windows i can keep open. i dont want carpet, so i hope there isnt any in the room. if there is, it might be the first thing to go. i just hope someone is there to sleep in my bed. someone who cares. i hate sleeping alone. i hate it so much it makes me want to scream. but i dont. lizzs room. you know the candyland game board? well..think that on walls. much color. so much color you might go blind. but for a girl with orange hair it works. i would share more details if i knew them. we're little girls who in the next year and half will be out in the world alone. we have waited our whole lives for this. i am past ready for this |