| and thats when the fairies come to get you.. |
do you know when you just have so much stress all you know to do is cry?
i know it well. i used to never cry. it shows weakness, or so i am told. always took it like a man. the girl who could take hits like no other. the girl who could cut her legs and arms until she could taste blood in her mouth. i learned not to cry. i learned love. i learned hate. i grew up on heartbreak and i fed on lust. and no one really noticed. looking back on it i wonder how anyone could have missed it. you could see it in my eyes. i wanted to cry. i wanted to release myself. i wanted to be free from my own small box which, i had locked myself in. something happened one day. it completely shattered me. i found myself with a razor blade hacking away at my arms and legs, sitting in the bottom of my shower, nude. i picked myself up. walked into my room. fell down on the floor and passed out. i woke up the next morning knowing that i had lost a good bit of blood and that no one was home. i made myself a glass of poweraid and drank until it felt like i was made out of salt. i curled up on my floor and cried. somewhere in there i passed out again. woke up the next day sick. a few weeks later i grew up a little and it hit me how wonderful the world is. i love the fact that it happened |